


In the (Broom) Closet

by goldberry-in-the-rushes (thepottermalfoyproblem)



Category: The Hobbit - All Media Types
Genre: Hogwarts AU, I thought I would never write one of those, M/M, Nori getting confused, Pre-Slash, Stolen Hats, Underage Kissing, gay wizard babies, idk what else to tag, pre-friends-with-benefits, strong tea, that's it that's all that happens
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-04-09
Updated: 2015-04-09
Packaged: 2018-03-22 00:32:24
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,449
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3708619
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thepottermalfoyproblem/pseuds/goldberry-in-the-rushes
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Nori and Bofur get trapped in a broom closet by an irate Dori, the result is a little more than either of them bargained for. Hogwarts AU</p>
            </blockquote>





	In the (Broom) Closet

**Author's Note:**

> I don't own shit.
> 
> This is based on the lovely Hogwarts AU that my fellow Stolen Hats fans have been so lovingly constructing.

The pounding of heavy feet echoing down the hallway was the only warning Bofur had before his arm near wrenched out of its socket. He bit off a yelp as his best friend dragged him bodily down the hall, a wide grin plastered on his smug face.

“No time to explain, Bo! We need to run if we want to live!” Nori half-shouted over his shoulder, careening down a corner, untucked Slytherin tie flapping in the breeze. Behind them, Bofur could hear angry voices getting closer.

“Merlin’s beard, Nori! What did you do this time? More important… why do I have to run, too?” The voices were getting closer and Nori’s answering cackle was not reassuring in the slightest.

“You’d only get blamed anyway. I think there’s a closet up here we can hide in.”  Nori avoided the objecting squawk from his friend and tugged the Hufflepuff a little further down the hallway. Hurriedly using _Alohemora_ on a plain doorway, he wrenched it open and dragged Bofur through. Spinning around in the cramped space, he closes the door tightly and casts the strongest _Notice-Me-Not_ charm he can muster. Behind him he hears a muttered _Lumos_ and the pale light brightens the space a fraction. When he turns around again, Bofur is quirking a grin at him across the tiny room.

“So, what happened, and should I be disappointed I didn’t see it?” Bofur raises an eyebrow to go along with his grin and Nori can’t help but chuckle.

“It was glorious, Bo’.” He ignored the other boy’s rolling eyes and gesticulated as he spoke. “You know how prefects have these nifty little badges? Well, Dori left his on his outer robe and took it off for a minute after class. I took the opportunity to make the badge… a little more fitting. I transfigured it so that it said “Balin thinks I’m Prefect” and he didn’t even notice until he pulled it back on and Balin choked. The expression on his face was worth it.”

“And… this is why we are both hiding in a broom closet barely large enough to hold even one of us?” Bofur spoke slowly, hands raised halfway, finally resting on Nori’s shoulders to try and conserve space.

“Well, yeah. Honestly, Dori and Balin are starting to creep me out a bit, and if I can’t use that to my advantage there’s really no point to it.” He tilted his head, as if listening, and Bofur caught angry voices growing closer.

“Nori, when I get my hands on you, you are going to wish I could take house points away.” The shout echoed close to the door and Nori held his breath as footsteps stomped past. Luck was with him, though, and his charm held. Dori didn’t think to check the door as he stormed down the hallway in search of his brother.

“You would think I nicked his favorite teapot again, the way he’s carrying on,” groused Nori.

Bofur smirks, eyes twinkling in the semi-darkness. “You do have a habit of taking his possessions, so I don’t blame him one bit for that.”

They stand close together in silence for a moment, listening as Balin trundles past after Dori, muttering fondly about “oversensitive yet adorable idiots.” Nori blanches and Bofur laughs, leaning his forehead against Nori’s because tossing it backward instead will certainly end in a trip to the infirmary. They are quiet for a long moment, waiting as footsteps fade away and the silence grows in the hallway.

That’s when Nori starts noticing things.

Bofur and his mischievous grin are awfully close in the _lumos_ -lit closet and suddenly Nori is finding it a little hard to breathe. Bofur’s hands are still resting on his shoulders but they feel like lead weights. He drags his arms upward to pull Bofur’s hands away and finds his grip tightening on his friend’s sleeves instead. _When did the air grow so thick?_ He swallowed hard and tried to tear his eyes away from the way Bofur’s lashes were fluttering against his cheeks. _Why are his eyes fluttering shut? Why is he suddenly so much closer, I could have sworn there was more room than this in the closet?_

His hands have found their way to Bofur’s shoulders now, brushing against the hair that has started to get longer under that ridiculous hat and it’s like a switch has been flipped. One minute they’re standing there with their foreheads pressed together, waiting for silence in the hall to indicate safety, the next, Nori has wrapped his hand around his best friend’s tie and dragged him into a kiss that is more desperate press of tightened lips than anything else.

Nori feels Bofur stiffen with shock and then, _Merlin_ , tighten his hands on Nori’s shoulders, tilt his head to a better angle, and kiss back. The slytherin feels his back hit a wooden shelf and hears something clatter to the floor and he is just about to get fully into the kiss when his brain screeches to a grinding halt.

He’s kissing Bofur. He’s kissing his _Best Friend_. In a broom closet, no less.

With all the force he can muster in his rapidly muddling state, Nori pushes Bofur away from him. He wrenches the door of the closet open and mutters a “Sorry, dunno what came over me” over his shoulder before he dashes down the hall.

He tells himself he’s not fleeing, but knows it’s a lie.

Nori doesn’t see the hurt and confusion on Bofur’s face, nor the shaking fingers that press against his lips as he watches his best friend disappear around a corner.

\-----

To say the next few days are awkward is the understatement of the century. Nori spends all his time actively avoiding Bofur, and Bofur spends all his time unconsciously pressing his fingers against his lips with a blush and a wistful expression.

It doesn’t take long for Dori to put two and two together. He catches his younger brother by the ear as he’s leaving the Great Hall and drags him bodily into a corner.

“I don’t know what’s going on between you and Bofur, and I don’t want to know. But you need to fix it before somebody gets hurt.” When Nori just sulks at him he continues, “Merlin, Nori, its not like you dragged him into a closet and molested him.”

Nori instantly turned a shade of pale Dori never knew existed and Dori mentally beat his head against the nearest hard surface. “Ok, if you did do that, I really don’t want to know now. Just… fix it. He looks like a kicked puppy and you look worse.” Spotting Bofur over Nori’s shoulder, he spun his brother around and shoved him in Bofur’s direction. Nori looked helplessly over his shoulder, but Dori crossed his arms and stared, unblinking, at him. Then he smirked wickedly. “Think of this as a suitable revenge for my new badge.”

Nori would have whimpered, but he had more pride then that. Setting his shoulders as if for battle, he marched towards Bofur. Grabbing his friend’s arm with no explanation, he dragged him off down the hall towards a quiet place he knew they could talk.

He started uncharacteristically babbling as soon as he could no longer hear others around them. Bofur snorted and stuck his hand over Nori’s mouth.

“Relax, Nori, I’m not going to stop being your friend over one kiss. Honestly, it was pretty fun and I wouldn’t mind another.” He grinned at Nori. Nori narrowed his eyes and contemplated licking Bofur’s hand where it still covered his mouth. Bofur’s face grew serious again. “If you don’t want that though, we can pretend none of this ever happened. Maybe we can bribe Frerin to obliviate us?”

Nori rolls his eyes and peels Bofur’s hand away from his mouth, still resisting the urge to lick it instead. “Can we do both?”

“What, pretend nothing happened and get obliviated?” Bofur looks shocked for a moment, but then he notes the twinkle in Nori’s eye.

“No, dummy, still be friends but also snog in corners. Just snogging, though. Snogging and our regularly scheduled shenanigans. Snogging and…”

“You’re babbling again.” Bofur’s grinning at Nori again, eyes crinkling with amusement. “Aye, I think we can be friends and also snog in corners. It’ll add variety to our lives at the very least.”

Nori chuckled and tugged on the brim of Bofur’s ever-present hat. “At the very least,” he agreed, and surged upwards to catch Bofur in a bruising kiss.

They were very late to their respective classes, but Dori made sure they gained back any points they had lost. His little brother had earned that.

**Author's Note:**

> I hope you liked it!
> 
> ~~It was really hard not to use khuzdul pet names oh dear~~


End file.
